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# Middle Tennessee Counseling

Connecting individuals with their story, couples with each other, and all with God.

## Sitemaps

- [XML Sitemap](https://www.midtncounseling.com/sitemap.xml): Contains all public & indexable URLs for this website.

## Posts

- [Blog](https://www.midtncounseling.com/blog/)
- [Listen Twice, Speak Once](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2025/03/31/listen-twice-speak-once/) - If you’re a woodworker, you know the number one rule (after “don’t cut your finger off”) is to measure twice, and cut once. As a woodworking hobbyist, I have rushed a project many times and mis-measured a piece of wood. The idea here is pretty simple: Once you cut, you cannot add material back on
- [Do I Belong?](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2025/03/31/do-i-belong/) - This question might also sounds like: Will you leave me? What are the limits of your acceptance of me? When will you see enough of me and turn your back. How much can I trust you to stay? What are the limits of my acceptance of your love, care, attention, inattention, and commitment to me.
- [What Wives Need to Know About Husbands Porn Use](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2023/09/05/what-wives-need-to-know-about-husbands-porn-use/) - Several years ago, I got a call from a man who was in a mild panic after his wife caught him looking at porn. A few months into our work together, Jim asked me if I’d be willing to meet with he and his wife, Sarah, together. He told me that Sarah was struggling to
- [What Men Need to Know About Their Porn Use](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2023/09/12/what-men-need-to-know-about-their-porn-use/) - It’s Friday afternoon, and I’m wrapping up my work week before I head home to help my wife setup for a birthday party. Just as I’m about to lock up, my office phone rings. I hesitate to pick it up. I am usually finished with my office work by this time on Fridays, but today’s
- [Building Trust](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2023/01/23/building-trust/) - Most relationships I encounter in my office are suffering from a lack of trust. I think everyone is asking the question, "can I trust you to do right by me?" By the time most have arrived in counseling, the answer to that question is probably a "I'm not sure" or an emphatic "no, I can't."
- [Fixing or Healing](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2022/05/29/fixing-or-healing/) - When we talk about ourselves or others as being "broken," we begin to treat them like an object to be fixed, not a Subject to be known. We are people with stories and souls, not an object to be used. Objects are made to do things. A vase holds flowers. A dishwasher cleans dishes. Scissors
- [The ABC's of Marriage](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2022/10/17/the-abcs-of-marriage/) - AlwaysBe Curious Always. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. I promise. I pledge. For however long we are both here in time, the hope, plan, dream, and goal is with you, always. Be. I'm me. I'm not you. I'm not trying to get you to be me. I'm not trying to be someone else. You're helping me to
- [The Question Holds The Lantern](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2022/09/24/the-question-holds-the-lantern/) - From the late Irish poet John O'Donohue: "Humans have an uncanny ability to domesticate everything they touch. Eventually, even the strangest things become absorbed into the routine of the daily mind with its steady geographies of endurance, anxiety, and contentment. Only seldom does the haze lift, and we glimpse for a second the amazing plenitude
- [The Demands of Others](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2022/10/10/the-demands-of-others/) - Some people will ask (aka demand) that you jump through certain hoops to prove that you are sincere, loyal, or committed to them. These requests come from very insecure or threatened people, and are done so to control and manipulate you. The problem is that early on in the relationship the requests are never overt enough
- [Some Thoughts on Evil](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2022/11/16/some-thoughts-on-evil/) - Evil is not in itself a thing or an entity. It's the absence of an entity. Kind of like there is no such thing as cold -- cold is the absence of heat. Evil is the absence of good. It will consume the good in those that let it. Evil is not self-sustaining. It must
- [4 Things Men Need to Know About Their Porn Use](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2021/06/23/4-things-men-need-to-know-about-their-porn-use/) - Several years ago there was a similar theme showing up in my office with the couples I was meeting with: The husbands porn use. Upon reflection, I spent some time writing what I thought the wives needed to know about their husbands porn use. I've long thought about writing a follow up post to men,
- [4 Things Women Need to Know About Their Husbands Porn Use](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2021/08/05/fat-son-how-smiling-natural/) - When men seek help in addressing the issues with their porn use, many times their wives do not seek their own help. While there are a myriad of questions that come up regarding porn use, I often hear wives ask questions like: "Do we need to have more sex?", "Why am I not enough for him?"
- [The Way We Heal](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2022/01/24/the-way-we-heal/) - The way we heal the wounds in our lives is to tell the story. Tell the story of your harm over and over again until you are no longer limited and harmed by what has happened. This is the essence of therapy ... to become familiar with our own truths (and lies) and live honest
- [Laundering Money](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/11/01/money-laundering-is-amazing/) - The only way finances can work in marriage is if it’s laundered first. Yes, you read that right. Launder your money. Clean it of ownership, of claim. Too many couples have split their financial assets, bank accounts, and credit cards. A relationship based on earning says, “what’s yours is yours, and what’s mine is mine.”
- [Mainfesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/09/12/mainfest-the-mad-farmer-liberation-front/) - Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front by Wendell Berry Love the quick profit, the annual raise, vacation with pay. Want more of everything ready-made. Be afraid to know your neighbors and to die. And you will have a window in your head. Not even your future will be a mystery any more. Your mind will
- [Is It Working?](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2021/10/11/is-it-working-2/) - When you’ve been alive for only five thousandeight hundredand twenty-nine days. The pathways are rarely clearhere wherethe roads keep changing. What makes senseon one daymakes nosense the next. And soto avoid exhaustionand to deepen restask yourself these questions.How would you describe today?And Have you seen anything interestingon the way?And Is it working?Is it working?AlwaysIs it working? ~ Padraig O’ Touma
- [Narcissism](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2021/09/29/narcissism-2/) - Creating an environment that is “us vs them” is fine for a sports team, but when that starts showing up in organizations and family systems, you are entering the category of narcissism in the leadership. Evidence of this in organizations and families can be seen with those that have left the system. Are they welcome
- [Who Is Sex For?](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2021/12/20/who-is-sex-for/) - One of the most challenging areas of a marriage is a couples' sex life. There are a myriad of reasons for this, but in the 15 years I've been working with couples, I think it boils down to one core question: Who is sex for? No one makes it through childhood and adolescence sexually unscathed.
- [Is It Working?](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/11/04/is-it-working/) - When you've been alive for only five thousandeight hundredand twenty-nine days. The pathways are rarely clearhere wherethe roads keep changing. What makes senseon one daymakes nosense the next. And soto avoid exhaustionand to deepen restask yourself these questions.How would you describe today?And Have you seen anything interestingon the way?And Is it working?Is it working?AlwaysIs it working? ~ Padraig
- [Two Questions](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2021/06/22/two-questions/) - Fundamentally we humans are all asking two questions about each other: Do you like me; and Are you going to leave me. Both questions reveal the fragility of our identity, and to what lengths we will go to to avoid the disastrous answers to those questions. These questions have been with us before we could
- [What Are You Listening For?](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2021/05/18/what-are-you-listening-for/) - My office sits about 30 yards off of some very busy train tracks. I've yet to count out how many different trains pass by each day, but I'd guess it is 15-20. In the Spring and Fall seasons, I enjoy opening the windows in my office to let the fresh air and sounds of nature
- [New Beginnings and Winter Driving](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2021/01/13/new-beginnings-and-winter-driving/) - Editors Note: This is a guest post from Marten Fadelle, clinical intern with me at my counseling practice. To learn more about Marten or to schedule a counseling appointment, visit his website here. Happy New Year! While there is much to be hopeful for, and much to be wary of, I felt both a sense
- [Making Peace With DMZ's in Marriage](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2021/10/14/perfectly-on-furniture/) - I’m sure you’ve seen it in a movie, or on the news. The scene is this: Some country breaks the demilitarized zone with an aircraft or a person. The other country interprets this as an act of war and promptly opens fire, destroying it before it has a chance to hurt them. You don’t step
- [Fixing or Healing?](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2021/10/10/appearance-guide/) - When we talk about ourselves or others as being “broken,” we begin to treat them like an object to be fixed, not a Subject to be known. We are people with stories and souls, not an object to be used. Objects are made to do things. A vase holds flowers. A dishwasher cleans dishes. Scissors
- [I Never Got What I Wanted](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2021/01/07/i-never-got-what-i-wanted-2/) - It was spring, But it was summer I wanted,The warm days, And the great outdoors. It was summer, But it was fall I wanted,The colorful leaves, And the cool, dry air. It was fall, But it was winter I wanted,The beautiful snow, And the joy of the holiday season. It was winter, But it was
- [Thriving During The Holidays](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2020/12/15/thriving-during-the-holidays/) - Raise your hand if you don’t feel some twinge of anxiety about the family dynamics during the holidays. If you’re honest, you feel pretty conflicted about having your parents or siblings over for Christmas dinner, much less visiting your childhood home. And you likely feel somewhat reluctant about going to your in-laws or some other
- [We Need Change](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2020/06/08/we-need-change/) - Change: noun. A transformation or modification; alteration: Transformations happens when something, or someone, new is introduced into a relationship. Pearls grow because of bacteria entering into a clam, the Amazon rainforest gets the majority of it's nutrients from Africa, and people transform when they accept a perspective from someone who is different. When we only
- [Quarantine Parenting Part 4: Boundaries & Needs](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2020/04/28/quarantine-parenting-part-4-boundaries-needs/) - Now that you’ve named your parenting style, created a SWOT+, and identified some goals, it’s time to put some structure into place about how to bring all of this together. Boundaries are the lifeblood of relationships because they provide guidelines for our needs to be met. Boundaries are what make it safe (or unsafe if
- [Quarantine Parenting Part 3: Goals](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2020/04/22/quarantine-parenting-part-3-goals/) - What is your goal for parenting during this quarantine? Is it to just “survive” the process? Or perhaps might it be to “make sure I don’t screw them up too bad?” I often joke with friends that I don’t have a college savings fund for my kids, I have a therapy savings fund. My kids will probably
- [Quarantine Parenting Part 2: SWOT+](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2020/04/20/quarantine-parenting-part-2-swot/) - Last week I wrote about your parenting style, which is pretty well tied into your attachment style. While these styles don’t paint the entire picture, they do give a good baseline for how we relationally approach parenting our kids. We parents carry so many stories and libraries of information around about who our kids are.
- [Quarantine Parenting Part 1: Your Parenting Style](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2020/04/17/quarantine-parenting-part-1-your-parenting-style/) - Our style of parenting has a lot to do with our story of how we were or were not parented. How we were parented created an “attachment style” in us. These attachment styles were first developed by John Bowlby almost a century ago. His work is a guiding principle in my work as a therapist
- [Quarantine Parenting](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2020/04/17/quarantine-parenting/) - I've been having a lot of conversations with friends, family, and clients about the changes we're all facing with our kids at home 24-7. Parenting is already hard, but doing so without the structure of school, comfort of friends, and breaks that sports provide can sometimes feel impossible. Here in the Nashville area, we're in
- [Autobiography In Five Short Chapters](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2020/03/30/autobiography-in-five-short-chapters-2/) - By Portia Nelson Chapter 1I walk down the street.There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.I fall in.I am lost … I am helpless.It isn’t my fault.It takes forever to find a way out. Chapter 2I walk down the same street.There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.I pretend I don’t see it.I fall in
- [Outbreaks, Part 2](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2020/03/30/outbreaks-part-2/) - A couple weeks ago I wrote about the importance of relationships regarding the two significant outbreaks that Nashville had faced in the recent weeks. Today with our country and world seemingly at a standstill with social distancing and quarantining, worry and anxiety are spreading much like the virus itself. I’m noticing that many are having
- [Quarantine as Sabbath](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2020/03/27/quarantine-as-sabbath/) - In the Lord of the Rings epic, JRR Tolkien brilliantly weaves in the practice of Sabbath in a number of ways. Often times this centers around food, the respite of a fire, and the sharing of stories together. Yet I think the clearest picture he presents of the Sabbath is Rivendell, the Elf homeland. It's
- [With Ourselves](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2020/03/26/with-ourselves/) - The majority of us are having to grapple with our ourselves in a completely different way due to the virus outbreak. Our limitations are on full display as we all try to navigate these new realities of life without activities outside the home. A good friend of mine said it really well about the quarantine
- [Outbreaks](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2020/03/13/outbreaks/) - Nashville has been hit pretty hard the last two weeks with an outbreak of tornadoes and now the coronavirus. This is not to suggest we're special as a city, but these challenges have been pretty acute for a lot of people here. These two major events have illuminated how little control we humans have. We're
- [Finding a Good Counselor](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2020/03/04/finding-a-good-counselor/) - A friend of mine asked me to put together a brief one-page guide to give to couples at a marriage retreat about finding a good marriage counselor. I thought it might be helpful to share here. Whatever your reason is for seeking counseling, there are a few guidelines that will help you and your spouse
- [Marriage and Lent](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2020/02/26/marriage-and-lent/) - Lent is the penitential season of the church calendar that usually involves fasting (or giving up) something that gets in the way of your relationship with God. This season prepares the way for Good Friday, and the celebration of Easter Sunday. One of my good friends is a pastor, and he wrote this as an
- [Maturity](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2020/02/10/maturity/) - Maturity is the ability to resist acting out on behalf of what one feels. One donut is amazing. Two probably isn’t as amazing, but I’m still probably going to have another one. I know from experience that three is not going to feel good in a few hours. And if I really don’t like myself,
- [Control Freaks](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2020/02/05/control-freaks/) - We’re all control freaks. Not just the type-A personalities, but also the B’s, C’s, and Z’s of the world. No one likes to be out of control. Those that act as though they don’t care about being in control are just practicing an apathetic version of control. My barber laughed as she exclaimed, somewhat proudly,
- [Narcissism](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2020/01/30/narcissism/) - Narcissism is a word that is thrown around a lot, especially in attempts to describe certain world leaders currently in office. Despite how common of a term it is, it’s difficult to know, with certainty, that someone we are in a relationship with is a narcissist. To a certain extent, we are all narcissistic in
- [Boredom](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2020/01/29/boredom/) - When my kids were younger, they would often complain of not having anything to do. It was tempting to spring into action, and give them a project or some kind of entertainment to quiet their boredom. At some point in those early parenting years, we stumbled onto something together: Boredom is the gateway to creativity.
- [Day 15: A New Vision](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2020/01/26/day-15-a-new-vision/) - This post is a part of The 15-Day Relationship Challenge. If you’re just now tuning in, click here for the whole series. A New Mission & Vision Welcome to the final day of your 15-day relationship challenge! I hope that it has been a productive, connecting, and celebratory journey together. You’ve spent some time in your individual
- [Day 14: Rest, Part 2](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2020/01/25/day-14-rest-part-2/) - This post is a part of The 15-Day Relationship Challenge. If you’re just now tuning in, click here for the whole series. MORNINGRest, part 2. We’re going to be ok. Good morning. Welcome to Day 14, another day of Rest! Last week on day 7 we began addressing the topic of rest, where it comes from, and
- [Day 13: Forgiveness](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2020/01/24/day-13-forgiveness/) - This post is a part of The 15-Day Relationship Challenge. If you’re just now tuning in, click here for the whole series. MORNINGForgiveness. Letting go, holding on. Good morning. Welcome to Day 13. Imagine dangling from a cliff, you’ve just slipped and caught a tree branch growing from the mountainside with your right hand. Your spouse is
- [Day 12: Responsibility](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2020/01/23/day-12-responsibility/) - This post is a part of The 15-Day Relationship Challenge. If you’re just now tuning in, click here for the whole series. MORNINGResponsibility! Taking Ownership. Good morning. Welcome to Day 12! The first failure of humanity is recorded in Genesis chapter 3. After all the Earth was created and enjoyed, something terrible happens. The husband and wife
- [Day 11: Bless](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2020/01/22/day-11-bless/) - MORNINGBless! Our Losses Good morning. Welcome to Day 11, Blessing what has been lost. There is an ancient tradition in the Japanese culture to repair a broken object. If a vase has been broken, it will be repaired with the appropriate materials. After it’s been repaired, a small object of gold is melted and carefully
- [Day 10: Celebrate](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2020/01/21/day-10-celebrate/) - This post is a part of The 15-Day Relationship Challenge. If you’re just now tuning in, click here for the whole series. MORNINGCelebrate! What we have accomplished. Good morning. Welcome to day 10, cellll-ebrate good times, c'mon! We're at day 10, and in case you've missed how we got here, take a look at where we've been in
- [Day 9: Grace](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2020/01/20/day-9-grace/) - This post is a part of The 15-Day Relationship Challenge. If you’re just now tuning in, click here for the whole series. MORNINGGrace. Sweat the small stuff. Good morning. Welcome to Day 9. Today is all about grace. Several years ago, my wife and I were sitting around the room full of other couples. At the center
- [Day 8: Remember Us, Our Story](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2020/01/19/day-8-remember-us-our-story/) - This post is a part of The 15-Day Relationship Challenge. If you’re just now tuning in, click here for the whole series. MORNINGRemember Us. Our story. Good morning. Welcome to Day 8! We’re taking a shift from focusing on you as an individual, to you two together as a couple. The next week will be a similar
- [Day 7: Rest](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2020/01/18/day-7-rest/) - This post is a part of The 15-Day Relationship Challenge. If you're just now tuning in, click here for the whole series. MORNINGRest. Let all things be. In the creation story found in Genesis chapter two, it says this: “By the seventh day God had finished his work. On the seventh day he rested from
- [Day 6: Growth](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2020/01/17/day-6-growth/) - This post is a part of The 15-Day Relationship Challenge. If you're just now tuning in, click here for the whole series. MORNINGGrowth. Who am I becoming? Good morning. Welcome to Day 6. How is the challenge going so far for you? Growth happens in all kinds of ways. We grow physically, vertically and horizontally
- [Day 5: Joy](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2020/01/16/day-5-joy/) - This post is a part of The 15-Day Relationship Challenge. If you're just now tuning in, click here for the whole series. MORNINGTop 5, part 2. Keystone Stories of Joy. Good morning. Welcome to Day 5 of 15! Yesterday was a big hurdle you made it over! Good for you for taking the time, energy,
- [Listen twice](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2020/01/16/listen-twice/) - There's a invaluable rule in construction: Measure twice, cut once. If you've ever made the mistake of not following this advice, you understand how important it is. One mis cut piece of material can vastly alter the overall structure and finished product. It takes a little extra time, focus, and energy to do the same
- [Day 4: Loss](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2020/01/15/day-4-loss/) - This post is a part of The 15-Day Relationship Challenge. If you're just now tuning in, click here for the whole series. MORNINGTop 5, part 1. Keystone Stories of Loss. Good morning. Welcome to Day 4 of 15! Over the past two days, we’ve talked about some of the building blocks to who you are
- [Day 3: Personalty](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2020/01/14/day-3-personalty/) - This post is a part of The 15-Day Relationship Challenge. If you're just now tuning in, click here for the whole series. MORNINGPersonality. How you are. Good morning! Like so many things that are abundant in our culture, there is an abundance of tests that will tell you your personality. Some of these are a
- [Day 2: Family Roles](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2020/01/13/day-2-family-roles/) - This post is a part of The 15-Day Relationship Challenge. If you're just now tuning in, click here for the whole series. MORNINGWhat’s My Role? Good Morning. Welcome back. Have you ever heard the phrase, "Home is where life makes up it’s mind?” Some of us grew up in chaotic homes, while others of us
- [Day 1: Hello!](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2020/01/12/day-1-hello/) - This post is a part of The 15-Day Relationship Challenge. If you're just now tuning in, click here for the whole series. MORNINGHello. A Walk Down Memory Lane. Hi. Hey. What’s up. Hello. These are are words of welcome. Of invitation to be here. The word “hello” lets those who hear it know they are welcome
- [The Problem Is Not The Problem](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2020/01/09/the-problem-is-not-the-problem/) - The problem of our life is almost never the real problem. The real problem is what we are doing in response to our problems. We blame. Point fingers. Yell. Throw things at others, words mostly. We cheat, and steal, and lie. We manipulate. Shade the truth. We get hyper vigilant and vow to never let
- [Erosion Control](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2020/01/08/erosion-control/) - Every day on the way to my office, I drive past a massive mound of dirt that has been excavated from a nearby building site. This pile is enormous and for several weeks it kept growing in size. At some point the mound stopped growing and the makers planted grass on top of it, and
- [Blackmailing Love](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/12/31/blackmailing-love/) - This is a great statement from Virginia Satir about the demands of love: "One of the truly basic problems is that our society bases the marital relationship almost completely on love and then imposes demands on it that love can never solely fulfill. If you love me you won't do anything without me if you
- [Married Teens](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/12/30/married-teens/) - What were you like when you were 13 years old? How were you as a kid when conflict happened in the family? Where did you go and what did you do to feel safe? What was your role in the family surrounding conflict? Sometimes when conflict happens, we can become like a teenager again. We
- [Use It Or Lose It](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/12/20/use-it-or-lose-it/) - Relationships are like muscles, if we exercise them, they will grow (even if we don't see that growth). Marriage takes work, and will not naturally grow on it’s own. In fact, left alone, a marriage will shrivel up and die. It takes consistent time and energy much like your muscles. If you were to sit
- [Avoiding Hurt Limits Intimacy](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/12/19/avoiding-hurt-limits-intimacy/) - Couples that avoid hurt from happening (or the hurt that has already happened) are preventing intimacy from developing. No one really enjoys being hurt, and being hurt is a part of all close intimate relationships. It's going to happen. The difficulty is in viewing pain as though it is a gift, not the plague. Pain
- [Grace & Gratitude](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/12/18/grace-gratitude/) - Before I release a pre-marital couple to the wild world of marriage, I challenge them to adopt two words (concepts) as cornerstones for their marriage: Grace and Gratitude. Here’s why. Showing grace implies forgiveness, acceptance, and a belief that your spouse is a better man/woman than what the offending action shows. It’s easy to get
- [Holidays and Rest](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/12/17/1198/) - Christmas is upon us, and I wonder how you are doing in it all. Rarely do I interact with people about the holidays and they share stories of rest as a main experience. Most say quite the opposite. There’s not enough time. Time is flying by this season. It’s so hectic. How am I supposed
- [Unknown](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/12/16/unknown/) - I'm sure you've heard someone say it, or perhaps that someone has been you, "I'm so afraid of the unknown." If you take a step back and consider that statement, it sounds pretty silly. How is it that you can be afraid of something you have yet to know? The answer: You can't. "I'm afraid
- [Comparison](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/12/13/comparison/) - Life is full of comparison. Babies are born, measured, weighed, and immediately placed in comparison with all the other records of babies born, “she’s 7 pounds 2 ounces, which is in the 67% percentile”. Kids are measured at school based on test scores, and parents participate by asking their kids to be more like so-and-so. As if
- [Knowledge and Experience](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/12/12/knowledge-and-experience/) - There is a difference in the knowledge of reading about something, and the knowledge of experiencing something. It’s the difference between the knowing in our heads and knowing from the heart. If you’ve been to the Grand Canyon, you know with your whole being the expanse of it all. There are no words to describe
- [Practice Empathy](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/12/11/practice-empathy/) - Empathy is the ability to imagine (or understand) what someone else is experiencing in their life. Authentic empathy is a huge ingredient in a close and impactful relationship. But how do we develop empathy? A quick Google search revealed pages and pages of tips for developing empathy, such as “Three steps to more empathy”, and
- [QBQ: The Question Behind the Question](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/12/10/qbq-the-question-behind-the-question/) - Book Review for QBQ. The Premise: If you’re asking the wrong questions, you’re not going to be able to solve the problems correctly. Personal accountability is achieved when we ask “what” and “how,” not “why” and “who.” Marriages thrive when those involved take responsibility by asking the correct questions about their situation. Ask, “how can I solve
- [Testing Relationships](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/12/09/testing-relationships/) - Depending on the age difference, kids test out their emotions on their siblings. Kids yell, hit, scream, cry, manipulate, shut down, lie, cheat, steal, and pout. They are working out how to be in relationships with themselves and the people they live with. These tests are pretty safe to run, because kids don’t get a
- [Relationship is Conflict](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/12/06/relationship-is-conflict/) - If you want to be in relationships, you have to learn how to do conflict. One of my mentors, Dan Allender, says it well: "All good communication leads to conflict.” Most of us believe that good communication will lead to consensus, not conflict. The word “communicate” comes from the Latin word communicatus. This word has two parts: Communi (to
- [No Trouble At All](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/12/05/no-trouble-at-all/) - Some time ago a friend asked me to help him sort through some technology issues with his phone and computer. My first career, and past hobby, was in technology so it came as no surprise that he’d asked for my help. After we’d finished the project, he said thank you and for the third time
- [The Fifteen Minute Date](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/12/04/the-fifteen-minute-date/) - Yesterday I wrote about why couples need to keep dating after they marry. Sometimes it's been so long since a couple has had a meaningful conversation, they've forgotten how to do so. When I say “forgotten” I don’t mean that they (or you, if this describes your relationship) don’t know how to talk together. It’s that
- [Keep Dating](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/12/03/keep-dating/) - After a couple marries, one of the first things to go in their relationship is dating. Most couples stop the very thing that helped them fall in love in the first place. And from a rational standpoint, it makes a lot of sense. Before you got married, you had separate lives, interests, and routines. Dates
- [When in Conflict: Take Your Shoes Off](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/12/02/when-in-conflict-take-your-shoes-off/) - The next time you find yourself in conflict with your spouse, take your shoes off. Seriously. Conflict in your marriage is holy ground. It’s where our life story shows up at a primal, non-verbal level. Our bodies remember things our words can't describe. We offer silence and respect when entering a place of reverence. Conflict
- [Day 5: Marriage & Thanksgiving](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/11/29/day-5-marriage-thanksgiving/) - In light of this being the American week of Thanksgiving, I’ll be writing about the power of gratitude in marriage, and the encouragement it gives to relationships.Day 1: The Gratitude JarDay 2: Gratitude PrayerDay 3: Gratitude LetterDay 4: A Touch of Gratitude The Lifestyle of Gratitude Step 12 in the Big Book of AA says
- [Day 4: Marriage & Thanksgiving](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/11/28/day-4-marriage-thanksgiving/) - In light of this being the American week of Thanksgiving, I’ll be writing about the power of gratitude in marriage, and the encouragement it gives to relationships. Day 1: The Gratitude JarDay 2: Gratitude PrayerDay 3: Gratitude Letter A Touch of Gratitude Often the way our brain works can get in the way of receiving verbal
- [Day 3: Marriage & Thanksgiving](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/11/27/day-3-marriage-thanksgiving/) - In light of this being the American week of Thanksgiving, I’ll be writing about the power of gratitude in marriage, and the encouragement it gives to relationships. Day 1: The Gratitude JarDay 2: Gratitude Prayer Gratitude Letter John Gottman says that it takes five positive interactions to counteract every one negative interaction a couple has. Yes,
- [Day 2: Marriage & Thanksgiving](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/11/26/day-2-marriage-thanksgiving/) - In light of this being the American week of Thanksgiving, I’ll be writing about the power of gratitude in marriage, and the encouragement it gives to relationships.Day 1: The Gratitude Jar Gratitude Prayer & Meditation Sometimes gratitude in marriage is impossible to find. In these times we need more help than a blog post, counselor,
- [Day 1: Marriage & Thanksgiving](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/11/25/day-1-marriage-thanksgiving/) - In light of this being the American week of Thanksgiving, I’ll be writing about the power of gratitude in marriage, and the encouragement it gives to relationships. Gratitude Jar “Love keeps no record of wrongs” is way easier to say, than to do. Keeping a rolodex of what has gone wrong in the past is
- [Are you Hopeless in Marriage?](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/11/22/are-you-hopeless-in-marriage/) - Most people who have not done significant spiritual or relational work do not know how to do conflict well. Invariably, we will unconsciously adapt our conflict styles to what we were exposed to in our childhood homes. The saying “the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree” is true here, how are we to know
- [Making Peace: Drop Your Weapons](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/11/21/making-peace-drop-your-weapons/) - You don’t walk into a peace treaty meeting with a machine gun. And if you do, the meeting quickly changes from a peace treaty to a tense stand off. One wrong move, and there will be a mess. We all have weapons that we have access to use when we are threatened. After all, these
- [Knowledge vs Experience](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/11/20/knowledge-vs-experience/) - There is a difference in the knowledge of reading about something, and the knowledge of experiencing something. It’s the difference between the knowing in our heads and knowing from the heart. If you’ve been to the Grand Canyon, you know with your whole being the expanse of it all. There are no words to describe
- [A Near Miss](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/11/19/a-near-miss/) - On my walk to the restroom the other day I was preoccupied with an email I’d just received. During my walk I was mulling over my response, or if I needed to respond at all. I was completely unaware of my surroundings, walking towards the restroom on auto-pilot. I turned the corner in the hallway
- [Understanding the Limitations of Others](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/11/18/understanding-the-limitations-of-others/) - This particular passage from Henri Nouen has been very helpful for me lately. We often mistake the limitations of others as a judgement of our own value. In doing so, we miss an opportunity to sacrificially love and care for these people in our life. "You keep listening to those who seem to reject you.
- [Sacrifice What's Easy](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/11/15/sacrifice-whats-easy/) - A millionaire who gives away $100 does not experience the same sacrifice as a factory worker who gives the same amount. It’s easy for someone wealthy to give away a few bucks, it's not that significant of a cost to them. There is not much sacrifice when we give what is easy to give. Sacrifice
- [Marriage Assets](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/11/14/marriage-assets-2/) - We tend to think about assets in terms of financial perspectives. How do we spend, invest, or save our money? Do we launder our money? How do I/we increase our financial assets? These, among others, are financial questions that every marriage deals with. Even if you’re not asking those questions, you’re still dealing with those
- [Criticism](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/11/13/criticism/) - Criticism without hope will lead to contempt.Criticism with hope will spawn creativity. It’s way easier to give the criticism than to receive it, but we all need helpful, loving, critical feedback in order to grow and change. We can be more receptive to hearing critical feedback if we feel secure, valued, cared about, and loved.
- [The Three P's of Porn Recovery](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/11/12/the-three-ps-of-porn-recovery/) - Last week I wrote about the allure of Porn. As a therapist, I've interacted with hundreds of men, women, and teenagers about their sexuality and porn usage. They all desire sexual wellness but struggle to know how to find it. In working with them, there are three things that always show up when someone is
- [Shame](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/11/11/shame/) - The best explanation I have heard for shame is a simple acronym: Should Have Already Mastered Everything It’s the feeling that tells us to figure things out on our own. Don’t ask for help. Don’t admit weakness or needs. Keep the facade up, act like you know what the topic of conversation is about. Shame is a master at keeping
- [The Viewpoint 1.4](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/11/08/the-viewpoint-1-4/) - The Viewpoint Life FulfillmentResearch from the "Pew Research Center" is almost always engaging, but the most recent study is really fascinating. Take a look at the below graph: I have no idea where I am going, I do not see the road ahead of me.I cannot know for certain where it will end.Nor do I
- [Confidence](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/11/08/confidence/) - When we talk about having confidence we’re usually referring to the feeling of being steadfast, solid, or steady in our decision/statement. We also use the word to describe telling someone something private or secret that we ask them to keep “in confidence.” Confidence comes from the Latin word which means to act “with fidelity.” When we are
- [Serving Time](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/11/07/serving-time/) - Each day is full of potential. Usually this “potential" is beyond what we know to be possible. Potential successes. Potential failures. We sometimes wake up with great expectations, and other times with great dread. But we all wake up in the same position: Unable to change time. We can't make it pass faster, or slower.
- [Comfort](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/11/06/comfort/) - The word "comfort" comes from the Latin word which means "strengthen greatly." We use this word to describe relief from distress more so than strength in our distress. In Western culture, the majority of us have a variety of “things” that are comfortable. Comfort food. Comfortable shoes. A comfy sweatshirt. Comfortable friendships. Comfortable habits. Comfortable
- [The Gospel of Porn](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/11/05/the-gospel-of-porn/) - The allure and promise of porn is simple. It’s about acceptance. It tugs at our need to be saved. Rescued. Our need for salvation. Porn says, "You can come as you are. You are welcome here. Alone. Tired. Afraid. Ashamed. No problem, You’re ok here.” Usually not really knowing what you are looking for, it
- [Pressure Treated Relationships](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/11/04/pressure-treated/) - Pressure shows up two ways in relationships: Couples who put pressure on each other, and couples who have been have been pressure treated together. It’s the difference between an insecure relationship and a secure one. Insecure relationships put a lot of pressure to “say or get it right” because the individuals aren’t yet good at
- [In Process](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/10/31/in-process/) - Practice makes progress, not perfection. Voltaire said it so well, “The perfect is the enemy of the good.” We are all in process. Not fully baked. Not quite done. Some of us are almost, but not yet there. We are all learners in different stages of our own growth process. Only those who expect themselves
- [One Thousand Words](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/10/30/one-thousand-words/) - Words are a gift for us to use with wisdom. Some of us have a lot of them, some of us don't have all that many. We use language to express thoughts, feelings, desires, ideas, and hopes. They are not all we have to communicate with, but they are the anchor of our communication. If
- [Marriage Junk Food](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/10/29/marriage-junk-food/) - It’s easy to get a Twinkie off the shelf, and eat it. Donuts are great, too. But they are not all that good for the body. Marriages have a lot of junk food options: Blame. Contempt. Resentment. Criticism. Name calling. Silence or Stonewalling. These actions, or reactions, all taste pretty good in the moment, but
- [The Viewpoint 1.3](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/10/11/the-viewpoint-1-3/) - The Viewpoint Vol 1 Issue 3 Book Review: Digital MinimalismWe are increasingly being bombarded with more and more technological inventions. Sure, some of these technologies do make life easier, but there is a lot of digital clutter in our lives. My main concern is that we're becoming less human the more we interact with computers
- [The Viewpoint 1.2](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/09/27/narcissism-viewpoint/) - The Viewpoint Vol 1 Issue 2 Book Review: The Productive NarcissistThe Productive Narcissist is a catchy title for a book that addresses a deeply complicated topic. Michael Maccoby, the author, is a long time therapist and consultant to executive leadership teams and companies. He brings a unique understanding to the challenges of Narcissism, and gives
- [The Viewpoint 1.1](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/09/20/the-viewpoint/) - The Viewpoint is a weekly roundup of content I have come across throughout the week that is worth reposting. This content will often be an article or a book I’ve recently read, or something else that is of cultural significance. One of my good friends talks about the word “viewpoint” as nothing more than a
- [Parenting is Not About Safety](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/09/17/parenting-is-not-about-safety/) - Ask any parent, and if they are honest, they will agree: Parenting is impossibly hard. As my 4 year old was running away from me one night, screaming at me as he ran, I realized why these relationships are so hard: My personal desire to be safe and comfortable is threatened by my kids. I’ve
- [Learn to Struggle](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/09/10/learn-to-struggle/) - I ran across an article about a chess player (Adam Robinson) who was in a chess development program for teens. He spoke of playing against Bobby Fischer (one of the greatest chess players in history). In playing Bobby, he would often lose. It was this short paragraph that struck me: "As young teen I played
- [Kids and Self-Esteem](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/08/24/kids-self-esteem/) - Another result of kids not knowing their place, or their usefulness in the family, is low self-esteem. Low self-esteem happens for our children when we, the parents, don’t allow our children to wrestle with the normal realities of life. Making decisions for them and not allowing them to fail prevents children from developing the necessary
- [Six Languages of Relational Intimacy](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/08/07/six-languages-of-intimacy/) - Below are six languages that help speak to the building of an intimate relationships. We cannot build healthy intimacy and thriving relationships without practicing some of the below ideas. As with anything in life, practice makes progress (not perfect!). Passion - This is the language of "I want and desire more." Shame tells us that
- [Wildflowers of Marriage](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/07/05/wildflowers-of-marriage/) - The great philosopher Forrest Gump famously said, "life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get." The great thing about those chocolates is that you can bite into them, and if you don't like what you got, you can choose another one. Many people think something similar about marriage,
- [Gardening and Life](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/06/21/garden-of-life/) - Several years ago I attempted to grow a vegetable garden in our backyard. It was mostly an utter failure. We may have gotten 3 tomatoes and a couple of green beans. But let me tell you what, those were the best tomatoes and beans I've ever had! Though the production failed, what didn't fail was
- [Laundry List of Adult Children of Alcoholics](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/03/22/laundry-list-of-adult-children-of-alcoholics/) - You don’t have to have parents who were alcoholics to develop any (or a lot) of these characteristics. All of us grow up in homes with imperfect parents. We develop coping mechanisms from growing up in these sometimes “crazy” family systems. Many of these coping mechanisms are listed below. If you identify with these, consider
- [Kids Need to be Needed](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2019/02/22/kids-need-to-be-needed/) - One of the worst things we can do to our kids is to raise them without ever asking anything of them. My kids love to remind me that none of their friends have to clean the kitchen, or do their laundry. What they don't realize is that most of their friends' don't really know what
- [Marriage Assets](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2018/12/10/marriage-assets/) - We tend to think about assets in terms of financial perspectives. How do we spend our money? How do we invest/save our money? These, among others, are questions that every marriage deals with. Even if you’re not asking those questions, you’re still dealing with those questions. There’s a different kind of asset that we forget
- [A Wealthy Marriage](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2018/08/17/a-wealthy-marriage/) - Most of us spend so much time thinking about the wealth of our bank account, or retirement plan. What about the wealth of your marriage? There is not a more important investment in life than that of your marriage and family. Governments and economies can all disappear rendering our financial investments worthless. There is nothing
- [The Parent Trap](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2018/08/15/the-parent-trap/) - To put it bluntly: Parenting is impossible. There is no way a flawed human can raise a non-flawed child. The goal of parenting has to be something attainable, but unfortunately most of us parent primarily out of opposition. “I don’t want ‘xyz’ for my kids…” “I hope they don’t …” “I wish they wouldn’t …”
- [Gaps](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2018/08/13/gaps/) - The great philosopher, Rocky Balboa, is talking to his manager Paulie. They are in the meat locker, Rocky is punching some cows, and Paulie asks him about his sister: “You really like her? I don’t get it, what’s the attraction?” “I don’t know, fills gaps I guess.” “What’s gap’s” "I dunno. I’ve got gaps, she’s
- [How to Fight](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2018/08/10/how-to-fight/) - How to Fight: Strike when the iron is COLD! The heat of the moment is usually too hot. Wait for things to cool down. Smile. Use hopeful, positive language Smiling takes less facial muscles, is linked to an increased production of dopamine (the "feel good" chemical in our body), and makes it harder to stay
- [Healthy Cultures](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2018/08/08/healthy-cultures/) - We are all a part of a multiple organizational cultures in our lives. Family, work, church, school systems, volunteer organizations, and hobby clubs. No doubt all of us have experienced the problems that come from unhealthy cultures. They are marked by things such as secret keeping, refusal to set or adhere to boundaries, triangulation (gossip),
- [Selfishness](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2018/08/06/selfishness/) - I'm usually only concerned about three people in my life: Me, myself, and I. That's the definition of selfishness, and the root question selfish people are always asking is something like: "What are you going to do that is going to make my life better, easier?" Self-lessness (the opposite of selfishness) is not thinking less
- [Woodworking and Listening](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2018/08/03/woodworking-and-listening/) - One of my hobbies is woodworking. I love the smell of fresh wood and the tangible nature of seeing something created from start to finish. The golden rule of woodworking is measure twice, cut once (and also, as I've been told at conferences where I speak, don't cut off your fingers -- ha!). You can
- [Burdens](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2018/08/01/burdens/) - I've been thinking about how many people feel like their marriage is a burden. I agree, marriage is a burden. But I think it's a burden in a different kind of way. The word "burden" in the Hebrew language means "assignment from God." Marriage is a burden to our selfishness. It's an assignment to deal
- [Making Space for Relationships](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2018/07/30/making-space-for-relationships/) - Here are three reasons to make space in life for relationships (even the difficult relationships). 1. Loneliness. Loneliness is an epidemic, and is linked to an increase risk of cardiovascular disease. We're more connected to information and screens than we are to people and stories. The more information we have, the more anxious and depressed
- [Conflict DNA](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2018/07/27/conflict-dna/) - The other day I talked about the different types of perspectives we have (some we choose, some that choose us). So much of what we see is based on our story, where we come from. Wendell Berry says it well, how is it that we can know where we are going if we have not figured
- [Perspective Matters](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2018/07/25/perspective-matters/) - Our perspectives matter in life, especially in relationships. Usually we see what we want to see, what we are looking for. But, we don't have complete control over what we see. There are 3 things that shape our perspective: 1. My Stance (what I am conscious of, what is my viewpoint). What is it that
- [4 Questions to Guide Conflict](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2018/07/23/4-questions-to-guide-conflict/) - Four Questions to Guide in a Fight: When possible take the time with the person you’re in conflict with to talk about these questions. If you do, you will gain important understanding about one another. Growth happens as a result of increased trust and constructive honesty. 1. What happened? (data) There are three sides to
- [Making Peace with DMZ's in Marriage](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2018/07/20/making-peace-with-dmzs-in-marriage/) - I’m sure you’ve seen it in a movie, or on the news. The scene is this: Some country breaks the demilitarized zone with an aircraft or a person. The other country interprets this as an act of war and promptly opens fire, destroying it before it has a chance to hurt them. You don’t step
- [Stages of Conflict](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2018/07/19/stages-of-conflict/) - Stages of a Fight: Offense Escalation De-Esclation Stabilization Repair There is a direct correlation to the severity of a fight in regards to two factors. 1. How often does the offense reoccur. If your conflicts are happening about the same issue over and over again, chances are the fights are going to be more difficult
- [Help](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2018/07/18/help/) - There's a HUGE difference between needing help, and wanting help. We only get to the place of wanting help when we surrender to our limitations. That we can't get to where we want to go on our own. Life change happens to us all of the time, and it happens on life’s terms: A car
- [4 Things Women Need to Know About Their Husbands Porn Use](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2018/06/12/4-things-women-need-to-know-about-their-husbands-porn-use/) - Men often seek help in dealing with their porn use, yet many times their wives do not seek their own help. Though the issue with porn is not a new problem, the access with technology has made it so much more available in it's different mediums. Here are the 4 things women need to know about their husbands porn
- [Just One Step](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2018/05/29/just-one-step/) - I often get the question, "what can I do to change my relationship with wife/friend/co-worker?" (This usually means - "how can I change the other person?") The answer to the first question is really simple: Just take one step. One small act of kindness. One gift of a compliment. One of their favorite candy bars
- [On Healing](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2016/07/06/on-healing/) - The way we heal the wounds in our lives is to tell the story. Tell the story of your harm over and over again until you are no longer limited and harmed by what has happened. This is the essence of therapy … to become familiar with our own truths (and lies) and live honest
- [Nine Powerful Words for Preventing Relationship Wars](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2016/03/28/nine-powerful-words-for-preventing-relationship-wars/) - A couple recently asked me a question about fighting: “We’ve been together for almost 2 years and have not had a fight. What do you think about this?” My response was two-fold. First, what is your definition of a fight? Some of us think of a fight as yelling, screaming, throwing things, etc. A fight for others
- [The Two Most Important Concepts in Marriage](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2016/03/22/the-two-most-important-concepts-in-marriage/) - I recently finished some pre-marital couples counseling with a delightful young couple. Before I released them to the wild world of marriage, I challenged them to adopt two words (concepts) as cornerstones for their upcoming union: Grace and gratitude. Here’s why: Showing grace implies forgiveness, acceptance, and a belief that your spouse is a better
- [Myth #5: People Change and Grow to Want Different Things](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2015/08/24/myth-5-people-change-and-grow-to-want-different-things/) - This post is part of a series in response to an article about reasons not to be afraid of a divorce. The bolded first sentence/statement are the words from the author in the linked article. The following comments are my opinions in response. Read the introduction to this series of posts here first. Previous Posts
- [Myth #4: Forever is a Long Freaking Time](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2015/06/22/myth-4-forever-is-a-long-freaking-time/) - This post is part of a series in response to an article about reasons not to be afraid of a divorce. The bolded first sentence/statement are the words from the author in the linked article. The following comments are my opinions in response. Read the introduction to this series of posts here first. Previous Posts
- [Myth #3: Miserable and Married](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2015/06/08/myth-3-miserable-and-married/) - This post is part of a series in response to an article about reasons not to be afraid of a divorce. The bolded first sentence/statement are the words from the author in the linked article. The following comments are my opinions in response. Read the introduction to this series of posts here first. Previous Posts
- [Myth #2: It Takes a Village](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2015/05/20/it-takes-a-village/) - This post is part of a series in response to an article about reasons not to be afraid of a divorce. The bolded first sentence/statement below are the words from the author in the linked article. The following comments are my opinions in response. Read the introduction to this series of posts here first. Previous
- [Myth #1: Divorce Pain is Temporary](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2015/05/12/myth-1-divorce-pain-is-temporary/) - This post is part of a series in response to an article about reasons not to be afraid of a divorce. The bolded first sentence/statement are the words from the author in the linked article. The following comments are my opinions in response. Read the introduction to this series of posts here first. Myth #1 - ”Divorce
- [Debunking the Myths of Divorce](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2015/05/06/divorce-myths/) - Several weeks ago I ran across this article from Cherilynn Veland, a clinical social worker, giving women 15 reasons why not to be afraid of divorce. The author takes what she considers cultural myths, and debunks them to give women support in their divorce process. In some ways, I understand where she’s coming from. Historically women
- [Anne Lamott on Brian Williams and scapegoats](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2015/02/09/anne-lamott-on-brian-williams-and-scapegoats/) - Anne Lamott, one of my favorite authors, recently posted some thoughts (originally posted here) about Brian Williams (NBC Nightly News anchor) and our common humanity. This is worth reading, even if you don't have a clue what's happening with Mr. Williams. My favorite line encompasses something most of us are afraid of doing: "Let's be
- [The Invitation of Advent](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2014/11/30/the-invitation-of-advent/) - I don’t know all of what Mary feared, but I can guess she had plenty. An unwed pregnant woman was not what it is today. She had good reasons to be afraid, as did Joseph, Zechariah, and the Shepherds. The Angels spoke directly to them, saying the same thing regarding the coming of Jesus: “be
- [Thriving the Holidays](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2014/11/25/thriving-the-holidays/) - Raise your hand if you don’t feel some twinge of anxiety about the family dynamics during the holidays. If you’re honest, you feel pretty conflicted about having your parents or siblings over for Thanksgiving dinner, much less visiting your childhood home. And you likely feel somewhat reluctant about going to your in-laws or some other
- [Making Room in Your Family](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2014/11/19/making-room-in-your-family/) - Earlier this fall I was asked to share some practices and habits our family does that help to make room for relationships. So much of family life is dictated by events and schedules that we often miss out on relationship building with our spouse or kids. Here are a few of the ideas I shared.
- [Relationships Need an Enemy](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2014/11/17/relationships-need-an-enemy/) - Most couples come into my office lacking a recognizable enemy they fight together. So instead, they fight each other. We often begin our intimate relationships based on infatuation, attraction, and fairy-tale dreams. Rarely do I interact with a couple that began their relationship because two people came together to fight something they couldn’t do on
- [Stop Trying to be Normal](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2014/10/28/stop-trying-to-be-normal/) - There is no great genius without some touch of madness. ~ Seneca The more normal you try to be (or the more like others you try to parrot) the less of you we will see. The move away from genius leads to people wanting to be normal, to not have to risk their necks with
- [Parenting as a Vehicle](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2014/10/21/parenting-as-a-vehicle-2/) - Parenting. Hordes of books dominate the shelves of bookstores, teaching you the love languages of kids, the brain rules, and even how kids raise parents (which is my most suggested book for current and aspiring parents). There are classes, techniques, and even some really stringent cult-like ideas that all hope to help parents master the
- [Secret Decoder Rings](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2014/07/29/secret-decoder-rings/) - My siblings and I would always fight over who got the toy out of the cereal box. It even became a sly game of determining where the toy was inside the bag without pulling the bag out of the box or in digging around inside. There were rules our parents setup to keep things fair
- [Sunsets and People](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2014/07/21/sunsets-and-people/) - “People are just as wonderful as sunsets if you let them be. When I look at a sunset, I don't find myself saying, "Soften the orange a bit on the right hand corner." I don't try to control a sunset. I watch with awe as it unfolds.” Carl R. Rogers
- [The Guest House](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2014/05/23/the-guest-house/) - THE GUEST HOUSE This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor. Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they are a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still, treat each guest
- [On Being Needy](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2014/03/18/on-being-needy/) - I think most people would agree that no one wants to be a needy person. We usually distance ourselves from those who have little to no ability (as adults) to help themselves. The problem is, that we are all people of need, and this is a very uncomfortable position. If I admit to needing something
- [Letting Jealousy Help](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2014/03/10/letting-jealousy-help/) - Growing up, I always understood jealousy as something to be avoided like the plague. It was a sin, and we weren’t supposed to feel it. The message I remember hearing from church/parents/adults was: If you’re jealous, something’s wrong. As an adult what I’ve found is that I cannot prevent feeling jealous. Jealousy is not a feeling
- [I Want a Safer World](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2014/02/05/i-want-a-safer-world/) - I want a safer world. I want a more competent God. Then I remember that God's power is not a controlling but a redeeming power--the power to raise the dead, including those who are destroying themselves--and the red blood of belief begins to return to my veins. I have faith. I lose faith. I find
- [Project Parenting](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2014/01/17/project-parenting/) - What is your goal for parenting? Is it to just “survive” the process? Or perhaps might it be to “make sure I don’t screw them up too bad?” I often joke with friends that I don’t have a college savings fund for my kids, I have a therapy savings fund. My kids will probably need twice the
- [Book Review: Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2014/01/14/strong-fathers-strong-daughters/) - Dad’s beware: Reading this book will likely provoke anger, shock, shame, guilt, and fear. There are stats and eye-opening realities that the author presents suggesting the current and future perils our daughters will face in the world. For this reason alone, dad's need to read what Meg Meeker has written. Yes, it's a shock to
- [Growing Up in Marriage](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2013/12/03/growing-up-in-marriage/) - Author and speaker David Erickson recently said, “There is a child in me always seeking to destroy the man that I am.” As I sat with Josh and Katy a couple of weeks ago, I remembered what David said because it fit Josh and Katy perfectly. They had only been married a little over a year,
- [Habits to combat anxiety and depression](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2013/09/23/habits-to-combat-anxiety-and-depression/) - Last week I spoke to a group of people about developing healthy habits to combat the effects of anxiety and depression in our lives. Everyone experiences both anxiety and depression at some point in our lives, usually on a fairly regular basis. Below are the notes from my talk. ------- A man who suffers before
- [Two Stances in Building Relationships](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2013/09/18/two-stances-in-building-relationships/) - Sometimes I consider myself a golfer, and regardless of how well I play, I really enjoy the sport. I’ll play 10-15 times a year, and there are occasional holes where I think that I am a decent player. One of my main complaints about this as a hobby is the amount of time that it
- [Withholding Judgment](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2013/09/09/withholding-judgment/) - Early on in my career as a couples therapist, I saw countless couples who would come into my office, sit on my couch, and launch in to attacks against one another. These early days highlighted that I did not know what to do with a couple who was instantly and constantly judging each other. I
- [Jesse Take the Wheel](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2013/09/03/jesse-take-the-wheel/) - If I’ve heard it once, I’ve heard it a hundred times: Wives are terrified of their husbands driving behaviors. Just a few months ago a couple sat in my office and the wife was almost in tears about the trip from their home to my office. They were running a few minutes late, the husband
- [Marriage as the First Child](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2013/08/26/marriage-as-the-first-child/) - There is no doubt; having a child is one of the greatest and most terrifying moments in life. It is one of the most electrifying times that produces crazy amounts of anxiety, adrenaline, and joy. And that’s just from the guy’s perspective. Despite this reality with a baby, when the first child arrives it is
- [Befriending Grief](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2013/07/31/befriending-grief/) - As I was driving into work one morning this past winter, I realized something: I don’t take pictures of the sorrowful parts of my life. Instead, I only take pictures of happy moments. I think this must be true for everyone. Spend 5 minutes looking through Instagram, your digital camera archive, or a regular photo
- [Celebrating the Big Days](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2013/07/29/celebrating-the-big-days/) - A few months ago I was with my family eating at Chick-Fil-A and I noticed an advertisement next to the counter. It said, “Make your reservations today to spend Valentines with your Love here at Chick-Fil-A. We will be serving a candlelit dinner for 2 from 5:00-9:00pm.” As we were leaving, I showed Stephanie, my
- [Just One Point](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2013/07/24/just_one_point/) - I did good. It was my wife’s 30th birthday, and I had the ultimate celebration for her. We were in our first year of grad school in Seattle, thousands of miles away from friends and family. She was a bit homesick, and just beginning to understand that any season other than Summer means lots of
- [The Power of Words](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2013/07/15/the-power-of-words/) - We all remember those times in middle school, around the age of 13, when friends could become enemies in an instant. There was one such time for me in eighth grade. As a shy, do-gooder, and socially conservative kid, I was rarely seen by my friends as a threat or a bother. However, one of
- [Four Conversations to Visit Regularly](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2013/07/08/four-conversations-to-visit-regularly/) - My wife, Stephanie, and I just celebrated our 12th anniversary. Some days it feels as though we’ve been married for decades, and there are still times that I look at her and wonder who she is and what she’s doing in my life. I often think that I hardly know her. During our first few
- [Introverts and Marriage](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2013/07/02/introverts-and-marriage/) - Introverts have long received the label of “misunderstood.” Some estimate that at least a third or more of the population are introverts. While this is a subjective estimation (everyone has some extroverted and introverted parts), it’s safe to say that most marriages will have one person who is more introverted than the other. If the
- [Show Me the Money](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2013/06/24/show-me-the-money/) - Sex get’s most of the hype as the big conversation topic prior to getting married. This is probably because, in general, sex is a lot more enjoyable to practice than any of the other issues a couple might face. With that said, the issue of money will usually be a more divisive topic than sex
- [Three Ways to Grow Trust and Deepen Intimacy](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2013/06/20/three-ways-to-grow-trust-and-deepen-intimacy/) - There’s a simple formula that I use with clients in my counseling practice: Get you, be you, give you. This is the life process of maturing, and is a helpful mantra to live by. The problems occur when we try and do this formula in reverse, because one can’t give what one doesn’t have. We
- [A Father's Redemption](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2013/06/19/a-fathers-redemption/) - I was invited to be a guest speaker at Fourth Avenue Church of Christ this past Sunday on Father's Day. I've spoken in many venues before, but it was a first for me to give the sermon in a church. I'm grateful for the opportunity and blessing of being able to share from my experience
- [Two Words That Don't Belong in Marriage](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2013/06/18/two-words-that-dont-belong-in-marriage/) - On average, women speak around 25,000 words per day. Men clock in at around 10,000 words per day on average. This is pretty fascinating in and of itself, and is great knowledge to have as you and yours navigate communication. Regardless if this is true of you and yours or not, of the thousands of
- [Worth Fighting For](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2013/05/21/worth-fighting-for/) - A few years ago a couple came to see me to help with their sexual intimacy. They explained that sex was too infrequent and when they did make love, it was usually because they had been drinking. Further exploration revealed that though they had a very active sex life early in their relationship, the past
- [The Importance of Wise Counsel](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2013/05/16/the-importance-of-wise-counsel/) - Unfortunately, it’s a common occurrence. Boy meets girl, they fall in love, begin planning their life together, get married, and come home from the honeymoon expecting happy ever after. Then some kind of pain happens, and it’s as if these two people barely know each other. I recently heard about a couple who is calling
- [Who Gets Your Best?](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2013/05/13/who-gets-your-best/) - Shortly after getting the kids to bed, which sometimes is as late as 9:00pm, a usual occurrence is for my wife and I to retire to our separate desks. She to the home office, me to the couch. It’s been a long day, and we both need a breather. Unfortunately, a lot of the time
- [Finding Light in the Darkness](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2013/04/23/finding-light-in-the-darkness/) - Celebrations in Boston after the news of the 2nd bombing suspect being captured. Image curtsey of
- [Therapy as an objective sketch](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2013/04/18/therapy-as-an-objective-sketch/) - I found this video on my Facebook timeline. As part of their "real beauty" campaign, Dove brought in a sketch artist to draw pictures of women based solely on their self-described features (the artist never saw the women). He then asked a stranger who'd met the women in the lobby to describe these same women
- [3 Components of a Good Listener](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2013/03/19/3-components-of-a-good-listener/) - “I need you to listen to me with your eyes,” Stephanie, my wife, says as we’re discussing our upcoming weekend plans. Truth be told, I was in the middle of a project on my computer and didn’t want to stop. “I’m listening, just keep talking,” I reply. She continues talking and then asks me
- [Marriage & Separation](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2013/03/07/marriage-separation/) - It may be that the only way to truly identify and understand the depths to which one goes to get their way in marriage is to separate. Marriages are too codependent to allow for the truth of control and manipulation to be seen. Consistently doing life together and the closeness of this life doesn't lend
- [A Year Ago on 5 Minute Sherpa](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2013/03/04/a-year-ago-on-5-minute-sherpa-3/) - March, 2012 Seeing the Real You It's human nature to care what others think of us, but this nature can get us into trouble. If you care what others think, more than you think you ought to, then it's a good chance you don't know you. When we come to know ourselves, we come realize
- [Couples & Individual Intensives](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2013/02/08/couples-individual-intensives/) - I often get asked about making a referral for couples or individuals who are in need of attending an intensive counseling program. Intensives are a great way to get a jumpstart on issues that have been bottled up or that have been ignored for some time. My personal and professional opinion is that more need
- [What Motivates Us](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2013/02/07/what-motivates-us/) - Fantastic 10 minute video (worth your time) about the realities of what motivates us as human beings. This is a great watch for parents, marriage, businesses, and anyone who has a relationship with another human being. Take a look: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6XAPnuFjJc&utm_source=buffer&buffer_share=47fc7
- [It IS a Big Deal](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2013/01/31/it-is-a-big-deal/) - A few weeks ago a friend asked me for a favor. He needed help sorting through some technology issues with his phone and computer. My first career, and current hobby, was in technology so it came as no surprise that he’d asked for my help. After I’d finished the project with him, he said thank
- [5 Virtues of Marriage](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2013/01/23/5-virtues-of-marriage/) - Looking back over the past year is one of my favorite traditions. I get to remember the ups and downs, the growth that occurred, and see what themes continually show up. This is the first year that I’ve applied this to my professional life, probably because it’s the first full year I’ve had as a
- [Choosing Curiosity over Judgment](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2013/01/16/choosing-curiosity-over-judgment/) - Recently I was playing golf with a friend. At the tee box on the 8th hole we were lectured and scolded by an older player about course and golf etiquette. We had a good reason for the accused action, which was not harmful to anyone or the course, but was evidently offensive to this other
- [The Marriage Ascent](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2013/01/15/the-marriage-ascent/) - Tanya and Daniel had been married for 3 years when they returned to my office for some help on a few conflicts they were having. I wasn’t surprised to hear they were having some issues. Marriage is a struggle. However, with this particular couple, during pre-marriage counseling, I’d highlighted 3-4 key themes they would need
- [Great video about Introverts](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2013/01/15/great-video-about-introverts/) - Looks like this is going to be a web series about the power of introverts, and the below video is the first episode. This was put together in response to the TED talk by Susan Cain, "The Power of Introverts." http://youtu.be/Ar1kEN_ZPNM
- [A Year Ago on 5 Minute Sherpa](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2013/01/04/a-year-ago-on-5-minute-sherpa-2/) - 2012 Kids, Language, and Wisdom We bantered back and forth a bit until he told me that one of the kids at school had spelled “shit” during lunch and everyone giggled. I asked him what that word meant, and he shrugged saying that’s the word he was looking up in the dictionary Life in the
- [2012 Most Read/Shared Posts](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2013/01/03/2012-most-readshared-posts/) - One of my goals for 2012 was to write more. Beyond writing weekly for the online publication Start Marriage Right, I was able to share some thoughts and writings here on my counseling site. Below are the top 5 shared and viewed posts from the past year. Stop Trying to Be Normal, You're Not 167 Normal
- [Fear of Losing Her](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/12/17/fear-of-losing-her/) - I’m afraid I’ll lose him or her can be one of the most powerful motivators in a relationship. There are many stories that shape the foundation of this fear, but regardless of it’s origin, the way you behave out of this fear will either result in bondage or freedom. If we’re honest, we all have fears
- [A Year Ago on 5 Minute Sherpa](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/12/12/a-year-ago-on-5-minute-sherpa/) - 2011 Parenting as a Journey with Kids The most relationally adept parents that I see are those that come alongside their kids in walking with them in their journey through life. When parents and kids can meet together at the intersection in the disappointment of life, powerful relationships are built. 2010 Where Do You Go
- [Peace](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/12/11/peace/) - This season is so full. Holiday parties, shopping, Christmas cards, kids activities all dot the calendar landscape. It's only 30 days or so between Thanksgiving and Christmas, but it might as well be one week. It sure feels that way. Too much the antithesis of what I want this season to be about, though I
- [Five Hours of Magic](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/12/07/five-hours-of-magic/) - Dr. John Gottman, revered marriage expert, has done extensive research in the field of marriage. One of his most helpful findings is what separates successful marriages to ones that fail. The answer: Those that spend an extra 5 hours per week investing in their spouse tend to live a more fulfilled marriage. He calls it
- [Beyond the Seen](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/12/06/beyond-the-seen/) - http://youtu.be/0D-LsS4MuZk We're all trying to make it in a grown up world. We're all Tom Hanks' character in the movie "Big." Nothing more than a boy stuck inside a 30, 40, or 50 year olds body. It's time to grow up. It's time to stop living life as though it's going to work, to fulfill
- [Truth and Truthfulness](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/12/04/truth-and-truthfulness/) - Truthfulness is a principal that most would agree is a valuable and worthwhile virtue. Most courses of therapy challenge the client to engage in his/her true self and live out of that core in a truthful way. But the conversation takes a dramatic turn when truthfulness is pitted up against the truth. A lot of
- [Not all Space needs to be Filled](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/12/03/not-all-space-needs-to-be-filled/) - If your daily, weekly, monthly, yearly life with all the activities, commitments, and "things you do regularly" were manifested as various sized cardboard boxes in your home; what would your home look like? Would there be any open spaces, or would you be the next candidate on a "hoarding" reality show? The U.S. is a
- [Rock Bottom](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/11/30/rock-bottom/) - Over the past few years, one of the only television shows that I watched was (and sometimes is) Gold Rush. It's a Discovery show about some broke and struggling men who mortgaged their lives for an Alaskan summer land claim to mine for gold. It's the ultimate show about striking it rich. They'd operate their big
- [Growth from the Desert](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/11/29/growth-from-the-desert/) - In 2006 there was a study that showed the link between the Amazon rainforest and the Sahara desert. Evidently, the Amazon rainforest is not self-sustainable. It’s one of the richest ecosystems in the world, yet doesn’t natively contain enough minerals and nutrients it needs to thrive. These nutrients come from one of the most unlikely
- [Disability as Redemption](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/11/28/disability-as-redemption/) - "There is no doubt that in revealing the fundamental fragility of the human condition, the disabled person becomes an expression of the tragedy of pain. In this world of ours that approves hedonism as is charmed by ephemeral and deceptive beauty, the difficulties of the disabled are often perceived as a shame or provocation are
- [Adversity Matters](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/11/12/adversity-matters/) - (Authors note: This article was originally published in September 2012 at StartMarriageRight.com) I had someone tell me the other day, “Samuel, I’ve dealt with it. I’m done and have moved on. There’s no changing the fact that my husband just won’t love and care for me the way I need him to. I don’t feel
- [Back to the Future](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/11/09/back-to-the-future/) - (...originally published at StartMarriageRight.com) Growing up, one of my favorite video games was Zelda. In addition to the combat and puzzles, my favorite part was discovering and conquering unknown levels. As the player, you’d know how much of a particular level you’d discovered based on the map in the lower right corner. However, in beginning
- [The 15-Minute Date](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/11/05/the-15-minute-date/) - (Authors note: This article was originally published in September 2012 at StartMarriageRight.com) Most couples that I see for counseling have not consistently dated in years. It’s an odd phenomenon that usually happens after the wedding; couples stop dating. The most common reasons I hear and see have to do with the physical proximity of living
- [Q&A About Marriage](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/10/08/qa-about-marriage/) - Last week I participated as a virtual panelist on a Facebook page for an organization where I'm a contributing writer. This discussion was posted as a Question (below) and then was commented on by myself and the "fans" of the Facebook page. It was a really good discussion, and I wanted to share my responses
- [The Value of Time](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/10/02/the-value-of-time/) - We shall never have more time. We have, and have always had, all the time there is. No object is served in waiting until next week or even until tomorrow. Keep going day in and day out. Concentrate on something useful. Having decided to achieve a task, achieve it at all costs. -Arnold Bennett. Despite the
- [It's Real, and Not Going Away](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/09/27/its-real-and-not-going-away/) - Below is an article at USAToday about the human trafficking industry. It's an international issue that is happening in our backyards, so to speak, and is not going away. It's a multi-billion dollar industry that is supported in millions of homes across the US through porn, adult-films, and other adult related content. Edmund Burke shared
- [Divorce Rate Among Churched Couples](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/09/27/divorce-rate-among-churched-couples/) - I ran across this brief article about the misconceptions of an oft quoted statistic regarding the divorce rate of churched couples. Below is an excerpt: "What appears intuitive is true. Couples who regularly practice any combination of serious religious behaviors and attitudes---attend church nearly every week, read their bibles and spiritual materials regularly; pray
- [Are People Good or Bad?](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/09/18/are-people-good-or-bad/) - Five minutes spent watching or reading the news will cause some serious question about the basis of humanity. Are we a “good” people or are we “bad”? It’s a lot easier to reconcile the Aurora Colorado theater shooting last month by coming to the conclusion that the shooter was/is a bad person. The word “bad”
- [Autobiography in Five Short Chapters](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/09/12/autobiography-in-five-short-chapters/) - Autobiography in Five Short Chapters Chapter 1 I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost ... I am helpless. It isn't my fault. It takes forever to find a way out. Chapter 2 I walk down the same street. There
- [The Importance of Parenting, and Childhood](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/08/21/the-importance-of-parenting-and-childhood/) - (image via despair.com) Ask any parent, and they'll agree: Parenting is hard. Despite the humor in the above picture, it really is difficult. As my 4 year old was running away from me the other night, screaming at me as he ran, I realized why this relationship is so hard: My desire to be safe
- [Book Excerpt: The Great Divorce](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/08/09/book-excerpt-the-great-divorce/) - Editors note: I read this book in college, but have recently been reminded of one particular story that seems apropos for modern day life. CS Lewis wrote this book describing the differences between Heaven and Hell. It's a story of people visiting both places, and as they near Heaven they appear as ghosts. The below excerpt
- [Love Your Faults](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/07/23/love-your-faults/) - Deficiencies, blemishes, and faults are what make us lovable, yet we're constantly told by ads and media that blemishes need to be covered up, eradicated, and hidden. The reality is the bumps, oddities, and faults in each of us is why we're able to form bonds and relationships. Think of it in terms of painting
- [So, You Think You Can Dance?](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/07/18/so-you-think-you-can-dance/) - (article originally published at Start Marriage Right) I move left, she moves right. I go forward, she goes backwards. I dip, she bends. I swing, she flies. We move closer and embrace. Butterflies. I’m a horrible dancer. The term “two left feet” has new meaning when applied to my dancing machismo. In the kitchen after
- [What to do with criticism](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/07/11/what-to-do-with-criticism/) - If evil be spoken of you and it be true, correct yourself, if it be a lie, laugh at it. ~ Epictetus No one likes criticism. But often times, criticism contains truth. Could you get upset at the delivery of the critical comment? Sure. But you'd be missing the point. Unless you're relating to
- [Stay Here And Feed Your People](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/07/05/stay-here-and-feed-your-people/) - One of my favorite podcasts is The Moth, a story-telling organization that hosts "story nights" around the country. Audience members, similar to the Price is Right, are the stars of the show. They get on stage and tell a story, sometimes in reference to a theme of the evening, and they do this without
- [First Half Reading](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/07/02/first-half-reading/) - One of my goals this year is to read more books. Of the dozen-plus books I've read so far, here are four that I suggest everyone read: Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Addiction A dad reflects on his son's addiction to drugs (meth). As a parent, this is a terrifying read as
- [On the Money](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/06/29/on-the-money/) - (originally published at Start Marriage Right) The American Dream has altered over the years but still fuels our culture. Its message permeates the airwaves, social media and modern advertising. We’re promised a better body, popularity and sexier hair all promising a happy life. In the place of the white picket fence and 2.2 kids is
- [The Opposite of Poverty](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/06/28/the-opposite-of-poverty/) - A few months ago my wife asked me what is the opposite of poverty. My first thoughts were related to money; wealth, being rich, or having enough. The more I thought about it, the less I considered financial categories as able to explain what it means to be impoverished. My answer today? Wisdom. Wisdom is
- [Excuses, The Human Condition, and Truth](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/06/20/excuses-condition-truth/) - “You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you odd.” ― Flannery O' Connor On my way in to the office this morning, I heard a report from the Sandusky sex-abuse trail that a psychologist has deemed Jerry Sandusky as having a personality disorder. I believe they are referring to the "Histrionic Personality
- [Creativity and Marriage](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/06/18/creativity-and-marriage/) - Along with 13-million other viewers (at the time of this post), I laughed and cried at the creativity and expression of love that was displayed in the "Live Lip-Sync Marriage Proposal" There are moments when I unequivocally believe the internet is one of the best inventions, ever. This is one of those moments. After watching
- [Making Black and White, Grey](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/06/15/making-black-and-white-grey/) - Over the past few months, I've heard and read a lot about the bestselling book series "50 Shades of Grey." This series is permeating so many different levels of cultural conversations: From sports talk radio, to morning talk shows, to social conversations, to "Shades of Grey" themed parties. One point is salient with all
- [Parenting As A Vehicle](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/06/14/parenting-as-a-vehicle/) - Hordes of books dominate the shelves of bookstores, teaching you the love languages of kids, brain rules for kids, and how kids raise parents. There are classes, techniques, and even some really stringent cult-like ideas that all hope to help parents master the art of parenting. I enjoy referring to parenting in football defensive references.
- [Interview with Phil Vischer](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/06/13/interview-with-phil-vischer/) - This is a compelling interview with the creator and founder of Veggie Tales (now of Jellyfish Media). "We're drinking a cocktail that's a mix of the Protestant work ethic, the American dream, and the gospel. And we've intertwined them so completely that we can't tell them apart anymore. Our gospel has become a gospel of
- [Turn Off the Screen](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/06/11/turn-off-the-screen/) - (article originally published by startmarriageright.com) There are a number of articles that have been published digging into how the social fabric of our culture is changing based on social media. The Atlantic published an article called “Is Facebook Making us Lonely?,” which is a long read but very challenging to our understanding about the impact of technology
- [11 Step Program for Prospective Parents](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/05/22/11-step-program-for-prospective-parents/) - A friend posted this on their Facebook profile today, and I found it incredibly funny and true. Enjoy 11 Step Program for those thinking of having kids Lesson 1 1. Go to the grocery store. 2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office. 3. Go home. 4. Pick up the paper.
- [Time to Drop the F-Bomb](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/05/15/time-to-drop-the-f-bomb/) - Freak. Fudge. Freaking. Farfignugen. Feck. Freaking…. Socially conservative people, not in the political sense, find plenty of ways around saying the real thing, instead substituting made-up words and sound-alike words to communicate what's really going on in their hearts. A recent study in the UK showed that cursing is an emotional language that helps to
- [Sometimes the Simple Solutions are the Hardest](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/05/02/simple_solutions_hardest/) - If you wish to be a writer, write. ~ Epictetus For many years, I've written as a hobby. This generally means that I'd write when I was inspired, and only when I was inspired. One problem with this mentality is that I've missed out on many opportunities in the past because I didn't know
- [I Can Only Speak for Me](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/04/24/i-can-only-speak-for-me/) - You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should've behaved better. - Anne Lamott So... it's pretty easy to talk about other people. To see their faults, cracks, damages, and also their giftings, goodness, and success in life. It's much harder to see
- [New Writing Venture](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/04/06/new-writing-venture/) - It's been a couple of weeks since I last posted here, and I wanted to give a link to a new writing venture that I've undertaken. I'll still be posting here, but I will be focusing my writing on relationships at Start Marriage Right. Thanks for stopping by.
- [Run To, Not From](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/03/19/run_to_not_from/) - Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. - Plato We'd just spent 14 of the past 15 waking hours at the baseball fields. The first two games rained out twice due to heavy storms of lightning and rain the previous evening. Instead of playing games over two days, we had one
- [Seeing the Real You](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/03/09/seeing-the-real-you/) - I do my thing and you do your thing. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, And you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful. If not, it can't be
- [Stop trying to be normal. You're not.](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/02/28/stop-trying-to-be-normal-youre-not/) - There is no great genius without some touch of madness. ~ Seneca The more normal you try to be (or the more like others you try to parrot) the less of you we will see. The move away from genius leads to people wanting to be normal, to
- [Parenting kids, Not controlling them](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/02/24/parenting-kids-not-controlling-them/) - I was talking with a dear friend of mine this morning about some conversations I've been having with my 9 year old son. As the oldest, my son exhibits many typical first-born traits. He's the rule follower, mini-parent to his siblings, plays life conservatively, and generally good kid. He's a great kid, and has an
- [Some thoughts to end the week](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/02/17/week-ending-thoughts/) - Answering the why questions in life will rarely be satisfying. The awareness you'll gain will be invaluable if you choose to use it. We humans judge actions, not intent. Hiding will prevent relationships from developing intimacy. You cannot have intimacy and hide at the same time. "Don't put your trust in walls, 'Cause walls will
- [Being Honest with our Kids](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/02/09/being-honest-with-our-kids/) - A few weeks ago my friend Laurie, who has 4 kids under 6 years old, messaged me with question about using the word disappointed in response to a kids action. "Is it okay to tell your child that you're disappointed in them?" It's a question that I've considered quite a bit since she asked. On
- [Authenticity happens over time](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/02/08/authenticity-happens-over-time/) - What makes people valuable? It's not what they do, but what they contribute to life, others. Mark Walberg, host of the Antiques Road Show on PBS, wrote a great essay on the similarities of antiques and people. He looks at the nature of what makes antiques valuable and parallels that with people. It's well worth
- [A Viewable Life](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/02/08/a-viewable-life/) - I recently ran across The Amish Project (youtube video), where a guy goes "off the grid" for 90 days. He gets rid of his cell phone, social media, computer, and anything else that promises to keep him connected to others. His project shows him that all these technological advances promise to make him a better at
- [Live to die once, not twice.](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/01/30/live-to-die-once-not-twice/) - While watching a show on the Battle of Franklin last weekend, I was struck by a statement the narrator made about life, death, and story. While describing the Lotz family and house being caught in the middle of the Battle of Franklin, he said that every person dies twice. Once when our bodies stop breathing,
- [Being easy on kids](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/01/26/being-easy-on-kids/) - I often vacillate between two approaches to parenting: strength and tenderness. Holding both together at the same time is difficult. When I'm only being strong with my kids, strict boundaries and immediate consequences, I often feel that I'm missing them and if I'm giving them too much to bear. On the flip side, when I'm
- [The Sexual Commodity of Beauty](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/01/24/the-sexual-commodity-of-beauty/) - The rise of self-promotion and narcissistic endeavors is ever growing. The public sharing of ones life is the modern day equivalent to having access to 500 million pen pals. We have less and less face-to-face interactions with people due to the popularity of twitter, facebook, and texting. And in this growing stage of self-promotion, patience,
- [Life in the Real World](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/01/11/life_in_the_real_world/) - Over the Christmas break I found a new game on my iPhone called tiny tower. The premise is pretty simple: build your own sky scraper, populate it with people and businesses, rinse and repeat. It's wildly addictive in that you can spend tons of time in the game earning money and building more. It's amusement
- [Kids, Language, and Wisdom](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2012/01/10/kids-language-and-wisdom/) - A few weeks ago I was cooking dinner and noticed that my oldest was reading the dictionary. Curious, I asked him what he was learning. He told me that he'd gotten the dictionary at school and he was just "looking around" and continued to flip pages. I noticed that he had stopped in the "S"
- [Parenting as a journey with kids](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2011/12/27/parenting-as-a-journey-with-kids/) - Lately I've been studying and researching on the nature/effect of shame in our lives. There are a number of fantastic resources that have provided a lot of help for me personally and professionally as I consider shame-based systems. One of the systems I've been considering lately is the family. One clear sign of a shame-based
- [Autobiography in 5 Short Chapters](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2011/09/22/autobiography-in-5-short-chapters/) - Autobiography in Five Short Chapters Chapter 1 I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost ... I am helpless. It isn't my fault. It takes forever to find a way out. Chapter 2 I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole
- [The ways we love](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2011/03/11/the-ways-we-love/) - Recently there has been quite a stir about the Christian sub-culture around the issue of Rob Bell and his new book Love Wins. I've read a few of blog posts, some twitter posts (including a very prominent Author and Pastor who tweeted "farewell Rob Bell"), and some reviews of the book. While the debate is
- [Parenting is an exercies in powerlessness](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2011/01/14/parenting-is-an-exercies-in-powerlessness/) - Ultimately, I do not have the ability to change my children. They are humans with the same free will that I have, and the same level of uniqueness that I have. So often I want them to be like me. To do like I would do, to react and respond like I would react and
- [The Four Horsemen](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2011/01/12/the-four-horsemen/) - John Gottman, famed marriage researcher in Seattle, has said that he can predict, with a 94% accuracy rate, if a couple will divorce or not just by observing 15 minutes of their behaviors towards each other. From his research lab, he's distilled his observations down to 4 key relational components that will destroy a relationship.
- [Sports, Passion, and Remembering](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2011/01/05/sports-passion-and-remembering/) - Over the past couple of years, my oldest has developed an addiction of sorts to watching college football. I no doubt am to blame for this, and while I feel there is some some negative outcomes of this addiction (as is the case with any addiction), it's been a true joy to snuggle up next
- [Where Do You Go?](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2010/12/28/where-do-you-go/) - Where do you go when life shows it’s jagged edges, and impossible scenarios? Often times in the face of pain or fear, we look for the easy button. You know, the button that Staples has made famous. Just press that button and all the problems of life will fade away. Perhaps that button for you
- [Symptoms that suggest your need for some self/soul care.](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2010/10/29/soul-care/) - There are a number of ways that our body and our souls tell us that something is awry and that we're in need of some help. Too often these symptoms are ignored or passed off as a 'bad week.' This is not a comprehensive list, but a few symptoms that are pretty common. - Little
- [Wall-E Today](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2010/10/01/wall-e-today/) - The world depicted in the movie Wall-E is quickly becoming a reality for us. Amidst towering issues of trash and little to no natural nourishment, we are being directed to take up residence in another world, in space ... and I'm not talking about physical trash. The trash of today is failed relationships, marriages, and
- [Disability as Redemption](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2010/08/27/disability_as_redemption/) - There is no doubt that in revealing the fundamental fragility of the human condition, the disabled person becomes an expression of the tragedy of pain. In this world of ours that approves hedonism as is charmed by ephemeral and deceptive beauty, the difficulties of the disabled are often perceived as a shame or provocation are
- [Portrait of a Borderline](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2010/08/26/portrait-of-a-borderline/) - "The false self can dominate even extremely talented people who are likely to be drawn to careers where life can be lived vicariously, where within safe, protective limits they can deal with emotions and activities that they avoid in their personal lives because of the fears such emotions and activities would evoke. Any career such
- [Perfectionism is the enemy of success](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2010/07/12/perfectionism-is-the-enemy-of-success/) - Briefly, just read a great quote by the French author/philosopher Voltaire that rings very true for me. "The perfect is the enemy of the good." If you wait for the perfect moment, waiting is all you will accomplish. Along with comfort, perfectionism is an enemy of success. Be bold and act on what you can
- [Remembering](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2010/07/07/remembering/) - Two months ago, the Middle-Tennessee area was hit with thunderstorm after thunderstorm after thunderstorm from Friday night through Sunday evening. Some areas accumulated 15+ inches of rain during that time span, which led to significant flooding in many areas. Thankfully our house was not the victim of these fast moving waters, of which I am
- [Marriage: An antidote to loss.](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2010/07/06/marriage-the-antidote-to-loss/) - To varying degrees, all of us have experienced trauma and loss (often times as a child). Because of these losses, be it physical or emotional, we tend to create internal reactions (these in turn create external reactions) that keep us from feeling the pain of similar losses in the future. This is a God-given gift
- [Create more, consume less](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2010/05/31/create-more-consume-less/) - Recently I've been experiencing some consumption fatigue, in large part because I see an estimated 3,000 advertisements on a daily basis (some stat research here). Because of this fatigue, I've been contemplating some thoughts about what it might look like to consume less, and create more. The following are a few of those thoughts. Creating offers us
- [Counselors For Nashville](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2010/05/14/counselors-for-nashville/) - I've organized a group of marriage, family, and grief counselors to offer free counseling to those who have been affected by the flooding here in our city. I'm wanting to make this available to as many people as possible. There are a lot of hurting people that need help once the physical labor is done,
- [Comfort, the enemy of success](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2010/04/28/comfort-the-enemy-of-success/) - No one who is successful got so by enjoying the relaxation and perks of comfort. They took risks, put something 'on the line', and did things that they didn't want to do. Don't think, act. If you sit around and think about the consequences or perils of a scary or frightening action, you're likely going
- [Good Therapy](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2010/03/26/good-therapy/) - "Good psychotherapy isn’t simply recounting what’s happened to you since your last visit, or how you’ve felt in the past week or month. Although that can be a small component of each weekly visit, it should never be the focus. The focus is in helping you better understand your thoughts, relationships and behaviors, and how
- [Skimming the surface](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2010/03/24/skimming-the-surface/) - Skimming the surface in life is more emotionally expensive than actually digging in and being honest of life. The lack of depth in our world feels to be expanding at an unstoppable rate. From information to nutrition, we can satisfy our most basic longings in an instant rarely stopping for long to consider the implications
- [Narcissism and Separateness](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2010/03/15/narcissism-and-separateness/) - Symington, in Narcissism: A New Theory , suggests that in "people dominated by narcissistic currents there is a failure of separateness between themselves and others, and they will asume that you think in the same way that they think." These 'narcissistic currents' are significant in corporate settings but it's because personal pathologies creation organizational pathologies.
- [Experience](https://www.midtncounseling.com/2010/03/14/experience/) - Too often insight, knowledge, and assumptions act as intermediaries for the lack of experience.

## Pages

- [Home](https://www.midtncounseling.com/) - Are you feeling stuck in life or in your relationships? Let us help you find hope, healing, and recovery. Nashville counseling for individuals and couples.
- [Contact](https://www.midtncounseling.com/contact/) - Send us a message Please enable JavaScript in your browser to complete this form. Name * First Last Phone Number Email * Message * Submit Office Address 7101 Peach Court, Suite 200 Brentwood, TN 37027 Give us a call Samuel Rainey (615) 656-4430 Stephanie Rainey (615) 496- 2464 Susan Powell (615) 294-8207
- [Susan Powell, LPC-MHSP(t)](https://www.midtncounseling.com/about/susan-powell-lpct/) - Meet Susan As a counselor serving men, women and couples in the Greater Nashville area, Susan Powell enjoys helping people navigate the overwhelm, uncertainty and grief that can arise in relationships and life. Susan has worked with individuals and couples to address anxiety, trauma recovery, grief and loss, marital issues, spiritual issues, shame, suicidal thoughts,
- [About Us](https://www.midtncounseling.com/about/) - Middle Tennessee Counseling (“MTNC”) is a counseling, coaching, and training center located in Brentwood, TN. MTNC exists to connect individuals with their stories, couples with each other, and all with God. We provide individual, couples, and family therapy to adults in the greater Nashville area, and comprehensive training and development for graduate students, therapists, and
- [Continuing Education](https://www.midtncounseling.com/continuing-education/) - Self-Care, Soul-Care & Burnout for Counselors When: Friday, February 6th, 2026, 12p-1:30p Where: Our offices Cost: Free to attend, $15 for NBCC approved CE credit Register: Registration is closed Middle Tennessee Counseling is presenting a one hour NBCC approved CE course for licensed clinicians on the role burnout plays in the life and practice of
- [Stephanie Rainey](https://www.midtncounseling.com/stephanie-rainey/) - A Life Coach is a professional guide that helps you talk through and evaluate a particular situation where you feel like you need more tools to get “unstuck.” These situations range from issues at work to home life and everything in between. I will work to help you define what your dreams for your life
- [Peer Consultation Group](https://www.midtncounseling.com/peer-consultation-group/) - Current Group OpeningsMeeting on 2nd Wednesdays monthly from 12-1:30 starting October, 2025 - OPENMeeting on 3rd Wednesday monthly from 12-1:30 starting January 15th, 2025 - FULLMeeting on 4th Thursday monthly from 12:30-2:00 starting September, 2024 - CLOSED Group StructureBeing a therapist, especially in a private practice, can be lonely. Often after graduate school and licensure
- [Therapist Supervision Consult Group](https://www.midtncounseling.com/therapist-supervision-consult-group/) - Therapists Jason Brown and Samuel Rainey will be facilitating a supervision group for a committed group of 6-8 other therapists who are passionate about growing as a therapist. Over the course of 12 monthly meetings, we will be focusing on core concepts, philosophies, and connection of the therapeutic relationship between the therapist and the client.
- [Plant Sequoias](https://www.midtncounseling.com/plant-sequoias/) - "Invest in the millennium. Plant sequoias. Say that your main crop is the forest that you did not plant, that you will not live to harvest. Say that the leaves are harvested when they have rotted into the mold. Call that profit. Prophesy such returns. Put your faith in the two inches of humus that
- [Individual Counseling](https://www.midtncounseling.com/individual-counseling/) - Counseling provides a constructive space for the client and therapist to listen, explore, and engage together about the challenges that the client is facing. Regardless if this is your first time seeking professional help, or you’ve had previous counseling experiences, we can help. We work with adult men and women on a variety of life
- [Coaching, Retreats, & Self-Directed Work](https://www.midtncounseling.com/coaching-retreats-self-directed-work/) - Sometimes we find ourselves in a season where we don't need a regularly occurring counseling appointment or we are facing specific problems that need a "problem solving" approach. There are also times where the resources (time, energy, money, schedule, etc) are not available to engage in more depth oriented work such as therapy or counseling.
- [Couples Counseling](https://www.midtncounseling.com/couples-counseling/) - We have found that couples have five areas of content they fight about: Sex, kids/parenting, money, in-laws, and technology. Each couple has a unique process (some call this a "dance") they follow as they attempt to resolve these issues. One of the most difficult aspects of intimate relationships is that they experience perpetual conflict. Almost
- [Vocational Discovery Retreat](https://www.midtncounseling.com/vocational-discovery-retreat/) - This is a daylong one-on-one guided retreat at our offices aimed at helping you discover meaningful work that is uniquely aligned with your gifts and limitations. You will be guided through a set of assignments to discover meaning, calling, and clarity in your vocational pursuits. Currently these retreats are available to be booked on Friday’s
- [Finding a Good Therapist](https://www.midtncounseling.com/finding-a-good-therapist/) - Whatever your reason is for seeking counseling, there are a few guidelines that will help you and your spouse select one that will be a good fit for you both. Take Your Time - Because the majority of people seek counseling out of a crisis or strong sense of urgency, taking time to find a
- [Join Our Team](https://www.midtncounseling.com/join-our-team/) - We have two clear goals here at Middle Tennessee Counseling: Provide excellent therapeutic care and develop incredible therapists. There's an oft-quoted saying about helping professions, "you can only go with your clients as far as you've gone with yourself." We believe that providing excellent therapeutic care for our clients begins with the growth and change
- [Vocational Retreats](https://www.midtncounseling.com/vocational-retreats/) - As humans, we are designed to create, work, and make the world around us a better place. Often we find ourselves in jobs or work settings that becomes just a place to get a paycheck. Thankfully we live in a country and community where there is work available. However, work that is just a simple
- [The Listening Room](https://www.midtncounseling.com/the-listening-room/) - Often times clients leave our office and sit in their car, have a conversation in the parking lot, or go for a walk to process what was just discovered in their counseling appointment. While there is nothing wrong with these actions, sometimes it's helpful to have a little more room and privacy to process thoughts,
- [Clinical Supervision with Samuel](https://www.midtncounseling.com/clinical-supervision-with-samuel/) - My approach to supervision is focused on two aspects of a therapists role: Clinical skills development and person-of-the-therapist work. I believe that the greatest change agent in the therapeutic process is the relationship between therapist and client. While the supervision relationship is not therapy, it follows a similar path that helps the trainee know and
- [Recommended Reading](https://www.midtncounseling.com/resources/) - Marriage: Intimate Mystery - Dan AllenderPassionate Marriage - David SchnarchThe Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work - John GottmanThe Mystery of Marriage - Mike Miller Relationships: Boundaries - Henry Cloud & John TownsendThe 5 Love Languages - Gary ChapmanStop Walking on Eggshells - Mason Kreger Parenting: How Children Raise Parents - Dan AllenderParenting With Love and Logic - Foster Cline & Jim FayThe Drama of the Gifted
- [Services](https://www.midtncounseling.com/services/)
- [Samuel Rainey, MA, LPC-MHSP](https://www.midtncounseling.com/about/samuel-rainey/) - Samuel is passionate about helping people live truthfully in a complex and often messy world of relationships. It’s easy to lose who we are in a marriage, families, workplace, or other relational setting. Through professional counseling, interpersonal coaching, writing, and speaking, Samuel loves to walk with people in the challenges of life. :: Experience :: Licensed Professional

## Categories

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- [Communication](https://www.midtncounseling.com/category/communication/)
- [Couples](https://www.midtncounseling.com/category/couples/)
- [Life Process](https://www.midtncounseling.com/category/life_process/)
- [Organizations](https://www.midtncounseling.com/category/organizations/)
- [Parenting](https://www.midtncounseling.com/category/parenting/)
- [Quotes](https://www.midtncounseling.com/category/quotes/)
- [The Viewpoint](https://www.midtncounseling.com/category/viewpoint/) - Weekly roundup of what I’ve been reading.
- [Theory](https://www.midtncounseling.com/category/theory/)

## Tags

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- [create](https://www.midtncounseling.com/tag/create/)
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