From the late Irish poet John O’Donohue: “Humans have an uncanny ability to domesticate everything they touch. Eventually, even the strangest things become absorbed into the routine of the daily mind with its steady geographies of endurance, anxiety, and contentment. Only seldom does the haze lift, and we glimpse for Read more…
By Portia Nelson Chapter 1I walk down the street.There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.I fall in.I am lost … I am helpless.It isn’t my fault.It takes forever to find a way out. Chapter 2I walk down the same street.There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.I pretend I Read more…
This is a great statement from Virginia Satir about the demands of love: “One of the truly basic problems is that our society bases the marital relationship almost completely on love and then imposes demands on it that love can never solely fulfill. If you love me you won’t do Read more…
This particular passage from Henri Nouen has been very helpful for me lately. We often mistake the limitations of others as a judgement of our own value. In doing so, we miss an opportunity to sacrificially love and care for these people in our life. “You keep listening to those Read more…
When you’ve been alive for only five thousandeight hundredand twenty-nine days. The pathways are rarely clearhere wherethe roads keep changing. What makes senseon one daymakes nosense the next. And soto avoid exhaustionand to deepen restask yourself these questions.How would you describe today?And Have you seen anything interestingon the way?And Is it working?Is it Read more…
Practice makes progress, not perfection. Voltaire said it so well, “The perfect is the enemy of the good.” We are all in process. Not fully baked. Not quite done. Some of us are almost, but not yet there. We are all learners in different stages of our own growth process. Read more…
Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front by Wendell Berry Love the quick profit, the annual raise, vacation with pay. Want more of everything ready-made. Be afraid to know your neighbors and to die. And you will have a window in your head. Not even your future will be a mystery Read more…
I ran across an article about a chess player (Adam Robinson) who was in a chess development program for teens. He spoke of playing against Bobby Fischer (one of the greatest chess players in history). In playing Bobby, he would often lose. It was this short paragraph that struck me: Read more…
Below are six languages that help speak to the building of an intimate relationships. We cannot build healthy intimacy and thriving relationships without practicing some of the below ideas. As with anything in life, practice makes progress (not perfect!). Passion – This is the language of “I want and desire Read more…
You don’t have to have parents who were alcoholics to develop any (or a lot) of these characteristics. All of us grow up in homes with imperfect parents. We develop coping mechanisms from growing up in these sometimes “crazy” family systems. Many of these coping mechanisms are listed below. If Read more…
The great philosopher, Rocky Balboa, is talking to his manager Paulie. They are in the meat locker, Rocky is punching some cows, and Paulie asks him about his sister: “You really like her? I don’t get it, what’s the attraction?” “I don’t know, fills gaps I guess.” “What’s gap’s” “I Read more…
Anne Lamott, one of my favorite authors, recently posted some thoughts (originally posted here) about Brian Williams (NBC Nightly News anchor) and our common humanity. This is worth reading, even if you don’t have a clue what’s happening with Mr. Williams. My favorite line encompasses something most of us are Read more…
There is no great genius without some touch of madness. ~ Seneca The more normal you try to be (or the more like others you try to parrot) the less of you we will see. The move away from genius leads to people wanting to be normal, to not have Read more…
“People are just as wonderful as sunsets if you let them be. When I look at a sunset, I don’t find myself saying, “Soften the orange a bit on the right hand corner.” I don’t try to control a sunset. I watch with awe as it unfolds.” Carl R. Rogers
I want a safer world. I want a more competent God. Then I remember that God’s power is not a controlling but a redeeming power–the power to raise the dead, including those who are destroying themselves–and the red blood of belief begins to return to my veins. I have faith. Read more…
Last week I spoke to a group of people about developing healthy habits to combat the effects of anxiety and depression in our lives. Everyone experiences both anxiety and depression at some point in our lives, usually on a fairly regular basis. Below are the notes from my talk. ——- Read more…
As I was driving into work one morning this past winter, I realized something: I don’t take pictures of the sorrowful parts of my life. Instead, I only take pictures of happy moments. I think this must be true for everyone. Spend 5 minutes looking through Instagram, your digital camera Read more…
March, 2012 Seeing the Real You It’s human nature to care what others think of us, but this nature can get us into trouble. If you care what others think, more than you think you ought to, then it’s a good chance you don’t know you. When we come to Read more…
Looks like this is going to be a web series about the power of introverts, and the below video is the first episode. This was put together in response to the TED talk by Susan Cain, “The Power of Introverts.” http://youtu.be/Ar1kEN_ZPNM
One of my goals for 2012 was to write more. Beyond writing weekly for the online publication Start Marriage Right, I was able to share some thoughts and writings here on my counseling site. Below are the top 5 shared and viewed posts from the past year. Stop Trying to Read more…
If your daily, weekly, monthly, yearly life with all the activities, commitments, and “things you do regularly” were manifested as various sized cardboard boxes in your home; what would your home look like? Would there be any open spaces, or would you be the next candidate on a “hoarding” reality Read more…
“There is no doubt that in revealing the fundamental fragility of the human condition, the disabled person becomes an expression of the tragedy of pain. In this world of ours that approves hedonism as is charmed by ephemeral and deceptive beauty, the difficulties of the disabled are often perceived as Read more…
We shall never have more time. We have, and have always had, all the time there is. No object is served in waiting until next week or even until tomorrow. Keep going day in and day out. Concentrate on something useful. Having decided to achieve a task, achieve it at Read more…
Autobiography in Five Short Chapters Chapter 1 I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost … I am helpless. It isn’t my fault. It takes forever to find a way out. Chapter 2 I walk Read more…
Editors note: I read this book in college, but have recently been reminded of one particular story that seems apropos for modern day life. CS Lewis wrote this book describing the differences between Heaven and Hell. It’s a story of people visiting both places, and as they near Heaven they appear Read more…
If evil be spoken of you and it be true, correct yourself, if it be a lie, laugh at it. ~ Epictetus No one likes criticism. But often times, criticism contains truth. Could you get upset at the delivery of the critical comment? Sure. But you’d be missing the Read more…
One of my favorite podcasts is The Moth, a story-telling organization that hosts “story nights” around the country. Audience members, similar to the Price is Right, are the stars of the show. They get on stage and tell a story, sometimes in reference to a theme of the evening, Read more…
One of my goals this year is to read more books. Of the dozen-plus books I’ve read so far, here are four that I suggest everyone read: Beautiful Boy: A Father’s Journey Through His Son’s Addiction A dad reflects on his son’s addiction to drugs (meth). As a parent, this Read more…
“You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you odd.” ― Flannery O’ Connor On my way in to the office this morning, I heard a report from the Sandusky sex-abuse trail that a psychologist has deemed Jerry Sandusky as having a personality disorder. I believe they are Read more…
If you wish to be a writer, write. ~ Epictetus For many years, I’ve written as a hobby. This generally means that I’d write when I was inspired, and only when I was inspired. One problem with this mentality is that I’ve missed out on many opportunities in the Read more…