We have found that couples have five areas of content they fight about: Sex, kids/parenting, money, in-laws, and technology. Each couple has a unique process (some call this a “dance”) they follow as they attempt to resolve these issues. One of the most difficult aspects of intimate relationships is that they experience perpetual conflict. Almost 70% of all conflict is perpetual. Couples usually get lost or stuck, experience hopelessness and apathy as they attempt to solve these perpetual issues.
Our counselors guide couples through these difficult and perpetual issues to find hope, healing, and discover a new dance together. We will help you navigate how to talk and connect together about the process of your relationship which will keep you from getting stuck in the disagreements on the content of your conflict. Together we will sort through these and other challenges to foster mutual love and respect. We work with couples to identify and move beyond their negative patterns of relating and construct new relational styles built upon honesty, respect, responsibility, and vulnerability.
We work with couples who are facing a number of different challenges, including:
Infidelity
Trauma
Infertility
Grief/Loss
Respect
Loneliness
Spiritual Issues
Empty-nesting
Parenting
Addiction and Recovery
Codependency
What to expect in your first counseling appointment
You and your therapist will first discuss the reasons why you are seeking help at this time and then they will talk with you about the process of therapy (including confidentiality, informed consent, HIPAA guidelines, and structure of appointments). The majority of your time will be spent getting to know you and your relationship and then setting appropriate goals for your counseling.
Occasionally your therapist will want to meet individually with one or both of you for a period of time to help facilitate growth and change in your relationship. We believe that the therapist can only be of help to a couple if there is mutual trust, safety, and no secrets. We realize that there are some secrets in relationships that can be very painful and damaging, and we encourage you to let your therapist know and work with them on how to disclose this in a constructive and intentional way during couples counseling.
We generally work with clients on a weekly basis as it provides the clearest and quickest path to establishing trust and safety in the counseling relationship. It is up to you and your therapist to decide the length of time that you will be working together. Because counseling is a dynamic process, we encourage clients to ask questions about the counseling relationship, reevaluate goals, and be honest about how counseling is working or not working.